Dating in todays world

We asked 17 single men and women, ages 19-35, what they think about the rules of dating in the 21st century.

Emily, a 29-year-old graduate student, says: "If there are rules, they are a non-conscious part of my ideology.

(A little while back, I posted a piece summarizing a lot of the recent literature, as well as my own opinions, on why dating has become such an impossible chore in recent years.

The article received some thoughtful comments and posts, both here, and on the HG Facebook page.

The worst part is that while you used to be able to tell the kind of person who was likely to have an STD – people who lived certain sexually-open lifestyles — when these days it could really be anybody.

We all live sexually-open lifestyles – to a much larger extent than most people before us.

Unless you look way back a few generations – back then romance didn't exist. With more partners comes more chances of catching something.

Sure, we may use condoms more often and have found cures for some forms of STDs, but people still catch them.

We place so much importance on the most arbitrary of things.I date such vastly different people, I don't even know what common thread would align them on the rules scale." Many singles are finding themselves in the same situation, not knowing what rules apply to dating in the new millenium. Some women want men to act out the traditional chivalrous role.Others are extremely independent and are offended if you open the door for them." Unfortunately, for Emily and Sam, the rules of dating may never be definitive, but there are still a few universal dos and don'ts of dating upon which many singles - and experts - can agree.Although, this isn't to say that we couldn't ease up in areas where we should ease up.Here are 8 problems that previous generations didn't have with dating that we managed to create for ourselves. One-night stands were nowhere near as common as they are now. Sure, we may sleep with the same person for a few months before we switch, and call it dating, but the truth is that we date to have sex.

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With every new device and messaging service comes a new rule as to how long to wait before initiating post-date contact. There are rules on how much you can and can't text. No one really knows what the rules are because they're so arbitrary it doesn't really matter, but nevertheless we know that there are some supposed rules out there somewhere and we'll follow our own interpretation of them.

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